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And we teach the same lessons to others, or judge others by the same standards. While these lessons are correct, we may not always teach them the right way or in the right spirit. Most Christians know that pre-marital sex is wrong. Scripture is clear about the importance of virginity Leviticus —15 , and the principle is so well-known that I knew about it even before I became a Christian. Many of us have also been taught about the aftermath of pre-marital sex, and how it affects both parties and their view of relationships and sex.

But what if some Christian singles have made mistakes in the past and are no longer virgins?

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One of the unique opportunities I have attending seminary, after ten years of marriage, is discipling young men who are single or dating. One of the disadvantages, however, is not being current on the lingo. This struck me in a recent conversation with a friend who told me he had gone out several times with a young lady and was uncertain about the status of the relationship. Curious, I asked him if he was planning on continuing to date this girl.

Dumbfounded and feeling a little old and disconnected, I decided to investigate this new pre-dating phenomenon. After these conversations, I was left with the question: Do we really need another stage in relationships that are directed toward marriage? Our culture suffers from a large number of males wallowing around in quasi-manhood for many years. Boys used to grow up, get a job, and move out of the house.

But we have inserted this chain of life stages from adolescence, to the college years, to early career, and so on — all of which permit young men to put off growing up, taking responsibility, and generally acting like a man. It prevents the man from having to be clear about his intentions to pursue or end the relationship. They are stuck going on non-dates with guys who are scared to date. In their defense, guys tell me they are afraid to ask a lady out because she might immediately assume he wants to marry her.

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All Posts. Paul Friesen – September 27, Topic: Dating , Engagement. Paul Friesen poses 21 questions dealing with Convictions, Character, Compatibility and Chemistry to help couples assess their decision to move forward with marriage. Whether you are engaged, pre-engaged or just dating, you can use these questions to help you grow closer together and to clarify your relationship. The Authenticity Question: Who was this person before you met one another?

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